K+BB Collective | The Designers' Corner

May 20 2010

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Get over it!

One of my favorite bands of all time wrote these words,

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin’ ‘don’t blame me’
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin’ sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma’s too thin; your daddy’s too fat

Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin’ and cryin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, Get over it
—Eagles

How many people are living with grudges, anger and resentment from the past? Whether it’s friends, business partners or family, it can eat at your insides and do more damage than you think. What’s done is done. And believe it or not, there are many benefits one can gain from difficulties in the past, depending upon your attitude and how you look at it.

Dr. Hans Selve, a renowned Canadian physician and scientist known as the “father of stress,” revealed a study by a psychologist who was analyzing the effects of drunkenness on children in broken homes. When researching the two sons of an alcoholic father, he came upon an interesting fact: One son was living on the streets and was a hopeless drunk and the other son was a successful businessperson. The psychologist asked both of the sons the same question, “Why did you end up this way?” And both of the sons had the same answer, “What would you expect with a father like mine?”

It’s all about choices. We can let all the past experiences and people who have “hurt” us in some way make us bitter or better. And it’s this constant anger and resentment that not only can destroy your insides but can also end up killing you with unnecessary stress. A USA Today study found that 80 percent of all visits to doctors’ offices are for illnesses and injuries associated with stress.

Now, I was about to write down some tips on how to get over past disappointments and live a more stress-free lifestyle when I thought I’d reverse the process and look at it from a whole new angle.

Here are several tips on how to be miserable. Yes, miserable. You may even know a few of these people…and they wouldn’t trade their misery for all the riches in the world. They also live by the German word schadenfreude, which means people who get enjoyment out of the misery of others.

Tip #1:
Believe the world’s against you. You have to cut yourself off from the world, and then somehow magically an inner voice starts to tell you that everyone’s out to get you. And to make sure this is a fact, you have to have a negative attitude toward everyone you come in contact with because, for some odd reason, their reaction will mirror your approach.

Tip #2:
Get all wrapped up in yourself. It’s not time to think of other people’s needs; after all, you should always come first.

Tip #3:
Read a medical book and find some kind of illness (and we do have a name for anything you can think up) that defines why people should feel sorry for you. Then tell everyone about your research to back up all your misery so, in turn, you can make all the people around you miserable as well. This should work well for a while and then you can search for something else that people will feel sorry for you about when this gets stale.

Tip #4:
Blame everyone else for your problems and why you ended up this way. Never look inside for a solution…It’s always someone else who got lucky or a better deal than you and you end up suffering because of it.

And don’t forget to hold these words closely to your heart at all times: anger, jealousy, self pity, selfishness, self-absorption and revenge.

You get the point. Attitude determines your altitude in most situations in life: Some look to go up and some look down. We have the final choice. If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.“—Maya Angelou, poet and author

Barry Farber

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